Well, this was an unexpected day. I got up with plans for a full day of computer work, housework, writing, cooking. But when I sat down to work, a great wave of depression hit, the most devastating I’ve had in a *long* time. I’ve had a couple of bouts of depression in the past year (and since beginning this blog), but nothing like this in quite a while. I just sat at my desk crying and crying. Whenever it would abate for a while, I’d try to get started on something, and it would hit again. So debilitating.
I thought I’d skip forward in my schedule to my next session of prayer and scripture reading (I’d done my morning prayers), and believed that would help. Well, it didn’t have an immediate effect, except to hover like a little flame in the back of my mind, reminding me that this will pass. And it’s so good to have now in my life the assurance of God’s presence and love, which I never really had before, when I went through episodes of depression like this.
I finally managed to get a little work done, and a meal made. But that’s about it. Even listening to music, which usually lifts my mood considerably, didn’t do anything for me today. I just had to ride it out…
Things are looking a bit better this evening. I have a delicious meal finishing up, my boys are heading home, I’m listening to beautiful carols (and the music’s finally beginning to cheer me up…) Before, when a major depression hit, it would take days to get over, but I think this time it may pass more quickly, even though it’s been a big one.
Now, it’s off to eat dinner with my family and then more prayer time. “Weeping may endure for a night” (or a day!), “but joy cometh in the morning.”